08 March 2007

Archive: May I be struck by lightning

One week ago, my school was struck by lightning. It happened just hours after I had taken a theology midterm, which has lead me to one of two possible conclusions: a) the building was struck by lightning because it's tall and has a lightening rod or 2) there is a god and I upset it with my theology midterm.

If the latter is correct, we learn one of two things about said deity: a) its aim is off-- the lightning stuck the Academic Building (yes, THE Academic Building, we only have the one) whilst I sat in the box office of the Performing Arts Center and marveled at the pretty, pretty lights and several minute long thunder roll that followed or 2) its timing is off-- the lightning struck several hours after I had completed my midterm, thus failing in its attempt to stop me.

This remarkable event proves, I dare say, even more effectively than Darwinian evolution or Einsteinian relativity could, that either the universe is controlled by physical laws that conform to reason and empirical evidence or it is controlled by an impotent magic man in the sky with bad aim or lousy timing.

I leave it to you, dear reader, to decide which is the more likely of the two hypothesis.
Oh, and ever since the lightning strike, the phones have been wonky campus wide. If god did it, clearly he hates land lines . . . or possibly it is a Protestant god lashing out at this damnable Catholic college by denying them phone service for a week. Again, I leave it to you to decide.

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